


You're Destroying Yourself

by CauseOfDrama



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Elounor, Jealous!Harry, Love, M/M, Sad!Louis, depressed!harry, larry stylinson - Freeform, management, sad!harry, sorry - Freeform, worshipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CauseOfDrama/pseuds/CauseOfDrama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Then why do you look like you don't believe me?”<br/>“Because I can't believe how perfect you are.”<br/>“I'm not perfect, Harry. Nobody is.”<br/>“Well, you're perfect to me.”<br/>_________________________________________________________</p><p>Harry loves Louis and Louis loves Harry.<br/>But Management has different plans and Louis is tired of watching Harry break, so he breaks up with the love of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry was happy. Him being happy was very rare, most of the time he was sitting in his flat, moping and watching the latest news about Louis and Eleanor. Whenever Louis called, he didn't let it show though.   
But tonight he was really happy again, because he wasn't sitting in his flat but in Louis'. They hadn't seen each other for nearly 6 weeks and he just couldn't do it any more, so he prepared a nice dinner for them and waited for Louis to come home from his 'date' with Eleanor. It took him long enough to find a day were Louis would be home soon enough and without having eaten dinner already.   
So he was very excited, obviously. He had prepared a nice roast beef with caramelised onion gravy, because he knew how much Louis enjoyed him cooking for him. Besides that he bought Louis' favourite wine, it being a rather expensive rosé.   
It was all about his Louis. Louis. Louis. Louis. Louis.   
He heard Louis fidgeting with his keys at the front door and got up from where he was sitting, taking the bottle of wine in both his hand and smiling. Because hell he would finally his Louis again and there was nothing that could stop him from smiling now.   
Well besides the brunette beauty that slipped inside just before Louis, Eleanor.   
Shocked, Harry watched them both taking of their coats and shoes at the door.  
“El, mind me taking a quick shower, love?” he heard his favourite voice in the world say and with that he let the bottle fall to the ground, being completely frozen in his spot.

They both turned around to him and their eyes widened with surprise. That was before Louis realised how that must have looked, his surprised look was quickly replaced with concern at that.  
“Harry?” As he heard his name coming from Louis' lips, he recovered from his shock.  
“Sorry, I'm so sorry” he muttered and Louis couldn't be more confused. After all he should be the one to apologise, as he let his eyes wander around the kitchen he noticed the nicely decorated table and the prepared food. For a short moment he let the fond take over him, before he remembered the situation that was currently taking place right in front of him.   
“What do you-?” He stopped talking as Harry let himself fall to his knees, right in front of a shattered bottle and a puddle of ,what he recognised was his favourite wine, on his white carpet.   
He hadn't even wasted a thought about that before, because all he could think of was the boy he loved with all his heart hurting.   
“I'm sorry, Lou, so sorry”   
“It's- Harry.. It's okay” Louis couldn't believe how broken Harry looked, it made his heart ache and he looked back at Eleanor, who was still standing next to her shoes at the door. Her eyes were filled with guilt as she watched Harry, she had always admired how strong their love was and seeing how broken he was now just proved her right.   
When she noticed Louis looking at her she silently nodded towards the stairs and he nodded back at her. He didn't need her around when he was trying to calm Harry down.  
Because the boy was sobbing by now, trying to wipe the wine from the carpet.   
“Harry, it doesn't matter” he made his way towards he kneeling boy and placed his hand on his shoulder softly, making him turn his head towards him and looking in his worried eyes.  
“'m sorry” he sniffled.   
Louis felt helpless, he had never experienced anything like this. Also, he hadn't known he could do this to Harry and it was a bit overwhelming to know how much power he had over him. It had always been completely stunning how Harry trusted him with his life, never doubting him.   
“Come here” he simply said, instead of all the things that were going through his head, sitting down next to him on the floor and holding his arms open for Harry to crawl in.   
Once he realised that it was an invitation for him, he let himself fall in the older boys arms and sobbed into the crook of his neck. Feeling his back slowly being stroked. 

It took him a good few minutes to calm down a bit, but he had his Louis holding him and that made everything better.   
“I wanted to see you… I'm sorry” he pulled away from Louis a bit and looked him in the eyes.   
“It's okay, god I don't know why you feel like you need to apologise.” The genuine look in his boyfriends eyes killed Harry. He had just ruined his whole day and he didn't want him to apologise.   
“Harry, I mean it” And of course he had to see right through Harry and see him doubting the rightness of his words. But in one point he was wrong, Harry didn't think he didn't mean it. He just didn't believe that he didn't have to apologise.   
“I know.”   
“Then why do you look like you don't believe me?”  
“Because I can't believe how perfect you are.”  
“I'm not perfect, Harry. Nobody is.”  
“Well, you're perfect to me.”  
That was what Louis couldn't understand, how could Harry not see any flaw of his? And how could he not see the mistakes he had made in the past?   
That just wasn't right. He loved Harry, he really did, but he was destroying himself with his love for Louis.   
“I don't think we can do this any more.” he said, taking his hand from Harry's back and closing his eyes, just in time to miss the heart-shattering look that took place on Harry's face after that.   
“Wh-what?” he croaked out, completely shocked. Louis opened his eyes again, wishing he didn't the second after.   
“I.. don't think our relationship can work any more” he spoke carefully.   
“Why?” Harry asked after a few seconds of silence. He couldn't cry just yet, he hadn't really realised what was going on.  
“We never see each other and I don't think it's working well.” his voice broke slightly at the end and he was fighting his tears. He had to be strong, he had to for Harry. Because it was what's best for Harry.  
“But… I love you.” he stated simply, because what should he say? He couldn't pressure Louis into a relationship he didn't want.   
“Do you want to sleep on the couch?” Louis asked, completely ignoring the tears that were now running over Harry's cheeks, who only nodded. His eyes were locked onto the floor and Louis got up, slowly walking towards the stairs. He turned around and watched Harry silently cry for a few seconds, before walking up the stairs and into the guest room, where he kept the spare blankets and pillows.   
Eleanor was sitting on the bed, looking up from her phone once she heard him enter. She looked at him with guilt and regret written all over her face when she saw the tears that were coming from his eyes.   
“I'm so sorry, Lou” She whispered and walked over to him, to hug him and kiss his cheek.   
“You know it's not your fault, right?” After all it was their management who was to be made responsible for this.   
“I know. Did he break-up with you?” She carefully asked and looked at his tear strained face.   
“I broke up with him.” He stated and locked his eyes on the floor.  
“Wait… What? Why?”   
“Because it was destroying him and I love him.” He felt her arms flying around his body and her pulling him into a bone crushing hug. 

Once he had gotten a blanket and a pillow out of the cupboard, he made his way downstairs again. He walked into the living room and saw Harry laying on the couch, his face pressed into the little pillow he had once brought Louis. He could hear the muffled sobs and his heart was aching. 

He carefully lifted Harry's head a little and placed the pillow he brought for him underneath, before he tugged him into the blanket and kissed the top of his head.   
The sobbing got louder after that and he quickly walked up the stairs to his bedroom.   
He was silently crying, listening to the sobs coming from downstairs, falling asleep a long time after the sobbing stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

When Harry woke up, he instantly remembered what had happened. Louis, his Louis, had ended their relationship. He felt like throwing up after he realised what that meant, he lost his Louis, no he wasn't his any more. He was just Louis.  
He lost his boyfriend and best friend in one night and it was his own fault. If he had just stayed home, wouldn't have been so clingy, then maybe they would still be together. It was confusing him, however, that Louis brought Eleanor home but then again, they didn't see each other for such a long time… It wasn't Louis' fault that he needed sex once in a while. It was normal. It was his fault for overreacting and making Louis feel bad for that normal behaviour.  
He was still laying on the couch, listening to the silence that filled the room. No one was up, yet. Not that he wanted them to be up, he couldn't deal with Eleanor's spiteful looks and Louis'… whatever, couldn't tell if Louis cared about him any more, he had not looked very sad about leaving Harry behind. But he wouldn't care about him any more, too if he was Louis.  
In the attempt not to run into either of them, he got up and left the house with tears in his eyes. 

Louis was waking up, someone softly calling his name next to him and he pressed his face in the pillow.  
“Harry… it's Saturday!” he let out a muffled cry and Eleanor's breath hitched. Oh great, he thought she was Harry.  
“Lou? It's Eleanor...” she was speaking very slow, almost like he was a puppy and she needed to gain his trust so that he wouldn't run from her.  
At that he lifted his head and looked at Eleanor standing next to his bed, watching him with pity clear on her face.  
“Oh shit” he let out, remembering the current events. He felt like crying again, but he was holding it back because he needed to do this. It was what was best for Harry.  
“Louis? Are you okay?” Eleanor knew that it was the dumbest question in that situation, but it was not like there was a handbook 'What you should say when you're famous, gay fake boyfriend breaks up with the love of his life because he can't watch him break any more!'  
“Yeah… well no, obviously. But it's okay.” he had no idea what he was talking about.  
“You know that you're an amazing person for doing that, right?”  
“He's hurting, El. He's hurting because of me.”  
“He was hurting the whole time, it's going to get better.”  
“Thank you, El” Even though Louis didn't really understand how someone could possibly want to have a job like Eleanor's, he really liked her. She was like a best friend, always listening to his worries and problems.  
“It's alright, Lou.”  
“I should check on him, shouldn't I? I mean that's not super-weird is it?” He was freaking out internally, how should he behave around Harry now? Was he supposed to distant himself from him or should he be friendly and still kind of close? One event couldn't tear apart all the time they had, could it?  
“He's gone. I made myself a cup of tea before coming here and he was gone.”  
“Gone? But… what if something happened? He should have said goodbye!” Louis was probably looking like an idiot, his hands pressed to both sides of his head and staring at Eleanor wide-eyed.  
“Give him time, you can't expect him to go back to normal like nothing happened.”  
“I know… I know and it's ridiculous” he was now throwing his hands above his head, far over the point where he actually cared what he looked like.  
“It's pretty nor-” Eleanor was cut off by a grunt.  
“I didn't mean that it's ridiculous that he needs time, I meant that it's ridiculous that I'm already missing him.” he was just a step away from crying again and Eleanor instantly pulled him into a tight hug, letting him release his tears and holding him while he sobbed into her shoulder. 

Harry was not doing better at all, he was sitting in his flat, staring at the wall with pictures of him and Louis all over it. He wasn't even crying, he was just staring, wishing it would disappear.  
He knew that he had lost the one thing he liked.  
Louis. Louis. Louis.  
But maybe Louis was going to be happy now, just without him. Maybe he just wasn't good enough, no he knew that he wasn't good enough for Louis.  
Perfect Louis. Louis. Louis. Louis.  
But did it have to happen now? And did he have to be the only thing Harry's life seemed to be about?  
Harry didn't want to move, he was scared that the pictures and the memories would disappear if he didn't constantly keep an eye on them. So he sat there until he heard he doorbell going off.  
“Who's there?” he shouted, not taking his eyes off the pictures.  
“It's Niall, could you let me in?” for a short moment, Harry was actually thinking about it.  
“No, leave me alone” he didn't want to see anyone at the moment.  
“Harry, come on. I wanna talk to you.”  
“No words needed.” Harry mumbled just loud enough for Niall to hear.  
“Harry, Louis called me and told me everything, I just need to know that you're alright.”  
“I'm alright.” he said, not really convincing, thanks to the slight crack in his voice.  
“Let me at least see you, I don't need to come in.” Niall sounded genuinely worried and again, Harry was thinking about just opening the god damned door but he knew that it would end with Niall sticking around longer than he could handle right now.  
So he just stayed silent and ignored Niall's pleads to let him in. After a longer time than he had expected, he finally stopped and walked away. So Harry continued watching the pictures until he couldn't stay awake any more around ten o'clock and fell asleep on his couch. Still facing the wall with his closed eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had stayed in his house for almost a week and they were all really worried, Louis was the worst though. He was constantly asking if anyone had received any messages from him.   
He knew that he couldn't contact him himself, yet. He was obviously not doing good at all, he missed the sweet little pecks on the lips, the waiting for cuddles, the talking about everything and nothing all at once, the secret glances at one another on stage or during interviews, the warmth…   
Harry. He missed Harry.  
He regretted breaking up with him but he also knew that it wasn't about him, it was about Harry.   
He had made him unhappy long enough and even though he knew that Harry didn't blame him, he knew that it was really his fault that he didn't smile any more. And that he spent most of his time in his flat and almost none with the boys.   
Without thinking about it, he took out his phone and dialled Harry's number after the boys had once again told him they did not hear anything from him. They were all looking at him like he was completely out of his mind and it hurt to know that even they blamed him.   
“You're not calling Harry, are you?” Liam asked, placing his hand on the older one's knee. He was sitting next to him in the van and Niall was sitting in front of them, facing them too.   
“I'm not going to wait until he comes out of his cave again. God knows how long that will take.” He was staring at the phone in his hand, his thumb right above the button ready to press it and call him.   
“You have to give him time, he-”  
“I miss him, doesn't he know that? Doesn't he miss me?” Louis knew that it was complete and utter bullshit what he was just saying, he knew that Harry missed him and that he just needed time.   
He was being so selfish, wanting to contact him even though it was probably really bad for Harry.   
“Lou, he probably thinks you don't want to see him or something and besides that, he just lost you, of course he won't just come running and you'll be friends again.” Niall was looking at him with a soft reassuring smile.   
“I know, it's just hard.”   
“We know, Lou, but we are here for you okay?” It was almost a whisper that came from Liam's mouth.  
“But he is all alone… What if he needs someone?”  
“Lou, we've been calling and stopping by his place everyday. He always told us to leave him alone. If he wanted someone there, there'd be someone there.” And Liam was probably right, he just didn't want anyone to be there.

 

Everyone called, messaged or even wanted to visit him, everyone beside that one person that mattered. Harry had known that he wouldn't call him right after they broke up, but they had never not talked for longer than 3 days and it had already been a week. It was hard to just stop after almost 6 years of constantly being together.   
He was currently staring at his phone as if asking it to tell him whether he should call Niall or not. He didn't really want to be alone anymore and him and Liam had been calling him and they sounded worried, so he figured it be nice to spend some time with them. But on the other hand, what if they were with Louis and he didn't want to see Harry?   
Nevertheless he called him.   
“Hi?” he heard someone talking in the background.  
“Hey..” he was pretty sure that Niall was busy and wished he just wouldn't have called.  
“Harry?” the voice in the background went silent and he was asking himself if it was because of his name being said.  
“Yeah it's me, I was just… but… nevermind” he was mumbling at the end, not finding a better way to end this conversation without Niall cancelling his plans for that day.  
“No, tell me.” Niall insisted and Harry was silently cursing himself for calling.   
“I just… have you got plans for today?”  
“No I don't actually.” He was probably lying but what should Harry do?   
“Do you want to.. do something? I'd like to get out of here for a while.”  
“Sure, what do you want to do?” Niall sounded really happy about the idea to spend time together and a small smile found it's way on Harry's face.  
“I didn't really think about that, maybe just shopping and pizza?”   
“Sounds good, I'm coming to your place in half an hour, alright?” Harry thought he might had heard Liam's voice in the background.  
“Is Liam there? Does he want to tag along?” Harry heard Niall asking Liam whether he wanted to tag along or not and then he heard the two of them asking another person if it was alright but he did not here the answer.   
“Yeah, he's coming.” 

 

As soon as Niall had ended the call, Louis fired questions at him. “Did he sound different? What does he want to do? Did he say something about me?”   
Niall gave him an apologetic look.  
“He sounded a bit sad, I'd say. He wants to go shopping… with Liam and me and no, he did not say something about you.”  
Louis tried his best not to let his disappointment show when he heard that. First of all Harry didn't want him to come shopping with them and then he doesn't even speak about him.  
“Oh well… I mean that's totally okay. I guess I wouldn't want to spend time with him too, if he was the one to break up.” He sounded as if he wanted to convince himself with that, as if he did not really mean what he said but hoped the others would tell him he was right.   
“Lou, it really is normal. He still loves you, of course it's hard on him.”   
“I love him, too.” he was quick to reply and glare at Liam.  
“I know, Louis, but he probably doesn't. I still don't know if it's best to tell him you do or not.”   
They had discussed that earlier but never came to a conclusion. On one hand he deserved to know how much Louis loved him but then again it could make it all even harder.  
“Yeah, tell me about it.” 

They continued like that for a few weeks Harry, Niall and Liam occasionally spending some time together, going shopping or watching DVDs. They saw that Harry was not getting better at all and Louis spending most of his time with Eleanor didn't make things better. Harry was convinced that Louis loved her and the boys weren't the ones to tell him it's not true, it was not their decision.   
Louis wasn't thinking about how it looked for Harry, he just wanted to spend some time with someone who really understood his actions.   
So he was happy to have Eleanor at his side, of course only as a friend. But still the publicity thought they were a thing so that's what Harry thought.   
It wasn't until he heard Niall comforting a sobbing Harry after an interview where he was asked about Eleanor that he realised just how much he was hurting. The plan had been to make him better and not to make him even worse but he supposed he fucked that up.   
He didn't want to be rude but he just couldn't bring himself to walk away.  
“Harry, you have to get better...” Niall was saying and Louis could hear that he was almost crying.   
“He loves her, doesn't he?” He didn't sound like the Harry he knew any more and that was probably what made Louis realise that this isn't working at all. He changed the one person he found perfect.  
“I don't know, Harry. Maybe you shou-”  
“No, I don't!”


End file.
